Intimate Reflections

Sex; it’s our favorite taboo subject. We may not discuss it in public, but behind closed doors we love it. We enjoy it, we desire it, we love to be and feel sexy. There’s something about a person’s sex appeal that draws our attention. It’s captivating, mesmerizing, and euphoric. For those of us who have experienced it, we know the sheer pleasure it can bring…if used properly. Sex used irresponsibly has caused a lot of problems throughout history. Dysfunctional families, strained parent/child relationships, divorce, the list goes on and on. I’m sure many of us have heard the “birds and the bees” conversation, had talks about birth control, and have seen sex on TV, movies, you name it. To clear up the confusion about sex, it wonders and it consequences, I think it’s time to have a real discussion.

Before diving into the thick of things I think it would be fitting if I share a story of a guy I was close with. His name was Jhosau. I knew him since high school and when I met him, he was bashful, quiet, and athletic. He was also saved. Even though he was athletic and excelled academically, he was still considered a lame. He wasn't that popular with the ladies, in fact he really had no game whatsoever. To make matters worse, he stuttered. The only other thing he did well was poetry. Despite his raging hormones, he wasn't getting any...until his 18th birthday when his then girlfriend opened her sugar box, and my, my, my. He had found Candy Land. He tapped into the thing he had desired the most, and thus started a pattern that he wouldn't shake for a long time. Jhosua gets to college and goes down a path of sexual conquest that even he only fantasized about. He was saved, he still went to church and he even went to a campus ministry program where he focused his poetry on Christ and how God saves. He even published a book while an undergrad, but it was as if his words held no power because well...the freak came out at night. The lame who had no game was now finding it easy to get sex, unaware that a stronghold had become fortified inside him.

He kept doing his thing until he met a young lady that did what no other woman did, and that's capture his heart. But God was about to open his eyes to the troubles he had brought on himself. As was suspected, he and his lady were having sex, and then one morning he gets a phone call from her at 6am. Her frantic voice relayed some words that he was absolutely not ready to hear. I'm pregnant. It had been a year since they were dating, and he really did love this woman so about a year into the relationship he proposed and she said yes. Almost 4 months after the birth of their beautiful daughter was born, they were married. Everything seemed fine, but Jhosau never dealt with his lust issues. He never really controlled his wandering eye, and he still had a thing for his favorite porn sites. Even though he was getting sex from his wife, God had to uncover his secret stronghold. The process to recovery has been daunting, and yeah he had his slip ups, but he finally felt he had gotten to a place where he was free from his addiction. He finally felt he was restored to the point where he could live up to his name, because Jhosau isn't it (spell it). If you move the 'a' to the end, and move the 'h' after the 's' it spells Joshua. He never thought he would use his intimate failures to warn about the dangers of sexual stupidity. My sexual misconduct was a burden that took me years to overcome. Hopefully after this series, I can save you some heartache.